Pick ‘ EM – Page 2 – the Addison Recorder

Addison Recorder Football Pick ‘Em: Week Seven – Dreamy Quarterback Edition

October 9, 2014 by Alex Bean Leave a Comment

Welcome to the Addison Recorder‘s football Pick ‘Em column. Each week Alex and a guest writer will predict the outcome of the most intriguing games on the slate. He will try to be as expert as possible, but we make no guarantees for his guests.

Before we begin, let me say that after last weekend, rationality no longer applies to college football this seasons. When 11 of the top 25 teams in the country, including those ranked #’s 2, 3, 4, 6, and 8 all lose together then chaos truly reigns. No one knows anything. Least of all me, your wildly inaccurate host. So, with Travis joining me again for the pick ‘em this week, we decided to use a criteria that Katy Perry would appreciate: how dreamy the quarterback for each team is.

Auburn’s Nick Marshall (Image via)

#2 Auburn at #3 Mississippi State

Bean:

The marquee match-up this week, then, is a showdown between Auburn’s Nick Marshall and Mississippi State’s Dak Prescott. Makes this a pretty easy call, personally. Nick Marhsall’s not a bad looking fella, but he’s no Dak. Look at that square jaw! Those smiling eyes! He even pulls off the chin stubble. Bulldogs by 10.

Mississippi State’s Dak Prescott

Travis:

Huh. This is our gimmick this week? Welp, okay.

Are you kidding? He’s got a neck that most closely resembles a redwood. Are redwoods attractive? I THINK NOT. Auburn by 10.

[Read more…]

Addison Recorder Football Pick ‘Em: Week Six

October 2, 2014 by Alex Bean Leave a Comment

WELCOME TO THE DARKNESS

Welcome to the Addison Recorder‘s football Pick ‘Em column. Each week Alex and a guest writer will predict the outcome of the most intriguing games on the slate. He will try to be as expert as possible, but we make no guarantees for his guests.

Wet dog = victorious cat. LOGIC

#19 Nebraska @ #10 MSU

Bean:

At the top of this article is Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany being interviewed by ESPN. Look into his eyes. They see nothing. There is no future. The past is only pain. Delany is only in the present and the present is The Darkness. Everything is The Darkness. This week’s picks from Alex are inspired by The Darkness. They will be expressed via gifs & images from The Darkness’s favorite TV show: Hannibal. All gifs via Tumblr.

To wit, this is a game between Nebraska, who are lead by Bo Pellini’s cat, and a bunch of faux-Spartans who are the best and most morally defensible football team in the state of Michigan right now. THE CAT SHALL TRIUMPH BY 5. [Read more…]

Addison Recorder Football Pick ‘Em: Week Five

September 25, 2014 by Alex Bean Leave a Comment

Welcome to the Addison Recorder‘s football Pick ‘Em column. Each week Alex and a guest writer will predict the outcome of the most intriguing games on the slate. He will try to be as expert as possible, but we make no guarantees for his guests.

Sad Urban Meyer eats the lukewarm pizza of woe. (Image via)

Cincinnati at #22 Ohio State

Bean:

An all-Ohio showdown! It’s reached the point where I prefer talking about this to discussing Michigan’s chances of retaining the Little Brown Jug.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The Buckeyes have already suffered an upset at home at the hands of a Virginia Tech team that subsequently lost their next two games. OSU whipped some cupcake the next week, but this is team is not the Death Star its immediate predecessors were. Cincinnati has unleashed new QB Gunner Kiel in their first two games to the tune of 689 yards and 10 TDs. <thinks about Michigan’s passing stats across four games and then dies> Anyway, The Bearcats will blitz like crazy and try to hit a lot of big pass plays. Ohio State will runrunrun and try not to get behind the chains or implode in the secondary. This week, I think they fail to do so. Why? To quote the Bible “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,’ says the Lord.” Bearcats by 10

Meryl:

As a former Columbus resident who used to live a little too close to campus, I am not normally inclined to side with Buckeyes fans, as they are the worst. That said, my family still lives close to campus and I don’t want their cars to be set on fire, which would surely happen if the Buckeyes lost to Cincinnati. Here’s hoping for a win for Ohio State by 7. [Read more…]

Addison Recorder Football Pick ‘Em: Week Four

September 18, 2014 by Alex Bean 1 Comment

Welcome to the Addison Recorder‘s football Pick ‘Em column. Each week Alex and a guest writer will predict the outcome of the most intriguing games on the slate. He will try to be as expert as possible, but we make no guarantees for his guests.

Utah at Michigan did not go Bean’s way in 2008. (Image via)

Utah at Michigan

Bean:

This game is asking for my tears. Michigan has beaten a couple terrible teams with some authority, but got shut out for the first time since the first Reagan administration in their last game against Notre Dame. Utah, meanwhile, is coming off a very unlucky 5-7 season dictated by injuries and has destroyed the first two cupcakes on their schedule. I live in great fear of this game. I can already see Utah blitzing Devin Gardner into mistakes and getting enough big plays to walk out of Ann Arbor with a win. If this game was being played in Salt Lake City I would easily predict Utah. As is…<vomits>…Michigan by 3. [Read more…]

Addison Recorder Football Pick ‘Em: Week Three

September 11, 2014 by Alex Bean Leave a Comment

Welcome to the Addison Recorder‘s football Pick ‘Em column. Each week Alex and a guest writer will predict the outcome of the most intriguing games on the slate. He will try to be as expert as possible, but we make no guarantees for his guests.

This is almost certainly Chris’s idea of home. (Image via)

Rice Owls at #7 Texas A&M Aggies

Going solo this week because the match-ups sort of suck. Also, let me just say that last week sucked and let’s never talk about it again. (Editor’s note – when I win in a head-to-head football pick ’em with Bean, you know how incredibly and improbably such a week sucked in the grand scheme of things, because I have no business getting so much football right. – Andrew) Moving on, we’ve got this pick leading off in honor of next week’s guest-picker: our very own Texas A&M alum and lifelong Aggie fanatic, Chris Walsh. He can hardly stand a day in which we don’t talk about the glory that is A&M football and/or Johnny Manziel, so it’s only fair. In real life, this game will not be a contest. A&M started the season by blowing the doors off of South Carolina in a game I predicted very incorrectly. They will do worse things to a Rice team that has nowhere near their talent level. It will get ugly. Chris will watch every glorious second while whispering “Gig ‘Em.” Aggies by the square root of all the cattle in Texas. [Read more…]

Addison Recorder Football Pick ‘Em: Week Two

September 4, 2014 by Alex Bean Leave a Comment

Welcome to the Addison Recorder‘s football Pick ‘Em column. Each week Alex and a guest writer will predict the outcome of the most intriguing games on the slate. He will try to be as expert as possible, but we make no guarantees for his guests.

Michigan at #16 Notre Dame

Jehu Chesson goes bowling in last year’s game. (Image via.)

Alex:

This is the last game scheduled in this rivalry for the foreseeable future. Notre Dame decided that it needed to drop to only two Big Ten games per year since it entered a scheduling agreement with the ACC. To which I say: to hell with Notre Dame! Michigan literally taught them how to play football and they’re gonna drop us in favor of more games against Purdue and North Carolina State? Go straight to hell, Domers. If there’s any vindication for Michigan fans it is that we should send the hated Irish off with another loss. Both teams looked good on their opening weekend, but Notre Dame is missing several starters and key contributors due to an academic fraud scandal. That should be enough to propel Michigan to victory behind a newly-coherent offense and aggressive defense. Wolverines by 10. [Read more…]