Sports

World Cup Cocktails: Group A

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You’re watching the World Cup, and the important question is not what tactical formation Nigeria’s coach is employing, but what drink you’re deploying. I propose a few humble cocktail suggestions over the course of eight posts — one for each group, inspired by the teams battling to escape said group.

What are my criteria for these cocktails? In the end, it comes down to what I’d want to drink… and what I will drink, since none of these recipes will go untasted. It’s a selfless act, I know. Also, my morning self will need a lot of coffee this next week.

In general, though, cocktails will take the one of three forms:

  1. A national cocktail, or a drink strongly associated with one or more teams
  2. A cocktail taking inspiration from a team’s name or colors
  3. A cocktail utilizing ingredients from one or more teams’ countries

For the Group A cocktails, I’ll do one of each of the above three. The cocktails will cover the group consisting of Brazil, Cameroon, Mexico, and Croatia. The natural starting point is the national drink that you cannot escape this World Cup: the Caipirinha. If you’ve seen any feature story about the culture of host country Brazil, you’ve likely seen someone mention this refreshing, rustic, and simple drink:

I am but a humble lime muddler.

I am but a humble lime muddler.

Caipirinha

Half a lime, cut into quarters
½ oz – simple syrup
2 oz – cachaça

In a shaker, muddle the limes and simple syrup. Add cachaça, add ice, and shake. Pour directly into an empty rocks glass — DO NOT STRAIN. No need for garnish.

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Three Up, Three Down: Thoughts from the Dugout

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jose-bautista

We are over a third of the way through the baseball season, and I’m averaging about one baseball column every three weeks. Three might as well be a theme of the column this week, and while I apologize for leaving my dedicated baseball readership bereft of material (to all five of you — sorry guys!), I am glad to announce that we’re back this week with as much topical news as I can muster. Unfortunately, the most topical thing is tremendously sad, so I’ll save that for last.

At this point in the season, we can start to see team narratives developing, and whether certain teams are flukes or not. Rather than do an all-out power rankings (of which I have one planned for the All-Star break), we’ll take a look at just six teams. (Well, five, but again, we’ll get there.) Three of these teams are doing quite well, exceeding expectations, or have a nice story going for them. Three of them are in the doldrums, fading, or have been beset with loss. As always, the baseball season is a marathon, not a sprint, but we’re far enough along to take a look at some things and say “Hmm, well, that doesn’t seem so bizarre anymore”.

Enough about this. Time for a game of Three Up, Three Down.

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World Cup 2014: Evaluating Groups E-H

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Welcome back for the latter half of Alex and -J. making predictions which they will not be held accountable for later on. We hope you grabbed your favorite libation, as our evaluations make a lot more sense with a bit of alcohol in your system and a lot of sundry trivia bouncing around your brain.

Let’s get to it.

(If you missed the analysis of Groups A-D, you can find them here.)

Group E: Tropical Absinthe

Switzerland * France * Ecuador * Honduras

Alex: France has alternated between phenomenal and craptastic over the past four World Cups. Since it’s already been eight years since they lost to Italy in the 2006 Final, that means it’s time to sing La Marseillaise again. Which I’m down with, because that’s the best damn national anthem in the world.

Vive la France! Who will be carrying the baguettes for Équipe de France de football, J.?

-J.: I’m not sold on the French, though I’m not sold against them, either. I am a French equivocator. Switzerland seems like a great team every World Cup, but never “semifinals” sort of great. Ecuador is in South America, a thing whose imporance in 2014 I’ve mentioned repeatedly. Honduras is a CONCACAF stalwart that feels like it ought to maybe be some kind of dark horse if another team in this group implodes, so… Hrm. How about I go with one team from Europe and one team from the Americas to make it into the next round. Will that work?

Mourinho doesn’t think so.

Fine, José Mourinho, I’ll make some damn picks. Um… I’ll take the middle road and go with Switzerland and Ecuador. Geez.

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World Cup 2014: Evaluating Groups A-D

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We are only a couple dozen hours from the start of everyone’s favorite 4-year celebration of burdening a host country with crushing debt and soon-to-be-rusting opulent sports venues!

No, not the Olympics. The other one. The World Cup thing.

Anyway, if you’re looking to lose money like a World Cup host, Alex Bean and I are here to provide some solid analysis that you can definitely throw money at. And, like a World Cup host, you’ll probably have a lot of regrets after you do. All that’s missing are the bribery and corruption, though Alex and I will gladly accept any and all payments of beer and dollars. You won’t get anything from these gifts, but you also won’t have to deal with years of riots. Probably. To the analysis!

Group A: Nintendo World Cup +1

Brazil * Croatia * Mexico * Cameroon

Alex: Brazil will win this group. That’s the Bean guarantee. (This guarantee will only be used in conjunction with Brazil being a massive favorite.) As to the rest, I think Cameroon will come in last because I know nothing about Cameroon football. So it comes down to the game between Croatia and Mexico on June 23rd in Recife to advance. I say El Tri emerges victorious despite their swoon of late. Who do you think advances on June 23rd?

-J.: I know about Cameroon football, kind of, because I was a kid obsessed with playing Nintendo World Cup on the original NES. Three of these teams represent the varying difficulty levels of your progression through the game: you start against a team like Cameroon, you know it’s getting serious when you reach Mexico, and Brazil meant you were up against some serious shit. (Croatia was still part of Yugoslavia at the time, so they don’t fit into this frame of reference.)

“Croatia’s right behind me, aren’t they?”

Besides learning about the geography of Africa at a young age, I also learned that American countries south of the United States are really good at soccer. So, yeah, obviously Brazil moves on. If it were any other World Cup, I’d also pick Mexico. But El Tri needed Team USA’s help just to qualify for a play-in to get to this Cup, and that’s not exactly heartening. I’ll take a chance on Croatia making it through.

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World Cup 2014: Setting the Scene

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Welcome to the 2014 Word Cup coverage!

Assuming you are reading this in the United States, and assuming that your soccer consumption habits are average for a U.S. citizen, you’re in desperate need of an expert or two to tell you how the World Cup is going to shake out. Maybe they’ll explain to you the different variations on the 4-4-2 formation, and what they’re good for.

Here’s where the Addison Recorder‘s coverage will differ from all others: we have no experts. Some of us are part-time soccer enthusiasts, and at least one of us could probably pick out Mesut Özil from a lineup. This makes us the perfect commentators for the U.S. audience — just like you, we’ve watched plenty of international and club soccer when our favorite (non-soccer) sports aren’t on. We know enough to take Alexi Lalas with a grain of salt, and to defer to the opinion of whomever doesn’t have an American English accent.

Yahoo! Sports hay have José Mourinho, but we have people who have an idea of who José Mourinho is. That’s the kind of expertise that you can kind of trust.

Right, then. I guess it’s time to start our actual coverage of the World Cup. Before I grab Alex Bean to join me in previewing all the different World Cup groups, allow me to set the scene for this year’s Cup. It’s not a pretty sight, so here’s a silly music video from a mustachioed man strumming a banjolele.

That was delightful. Now we get to wade into the shit of the World Cup. So, take a deep breath, because we’re going to start with the rotting, bloated corpulent Sulla sitting atop the corrupt Soccer Empire that oversees all this Roman-esque spectacle: FIFA.

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An Appeal to the Hockey Gods

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The Conference Finals, both in the East but especially in the West, were so beyond this world that NBC Sports had to turn to Gods of Rock & Roll to truly encapsulate the epic nature of these series. Not only did they turn to Queen and David Bowie to convey the proper timbre for these games, but they leveled up the epic-ness by using the acapella version of this song:

That’s about how every fan felt watching the West’s monstrous battle for the right to face the Rangers in the Stanley Cup Finals. As we prepare to sit in our living rooms, at our bars, or with our mobile devices, let us recount the legendary tale of how we arrived at this point. And just as a TV network turned to Rock Gods to convey the true joy and struggle of the Cup, we must turn to the influence of the Hockey Gods in what begins tonight.

Let’s start with…
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Stay Inside and Watch Some Stuff!

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America is willing the Von Trapps to victory!

Summer is my least favorite season. Monstrous humidity, bland movies, and no school. Combine all these and the Bean-mind atrophies. But I admit that summer is full of possibilities. Some say those should include outdoor recreation, camping, or taking vacations. I disagree. Why get even sweatier when summer offers great and unexpected things you can find on your computer or TV screen? Somewhere Michelle Obama and  the Surgeon General are screaming out loud and don’t know why. Oh well. To the suggestions!
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Thought from the Dugout: The Mendoza Line

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(Courtesy The Mendoza Line Facebook page)

(Courtesy The Mendoza Line Facebook page)

Normally, I write about movies and baseball here on the Recorder. More often than not, these two fields exist independently of each other. (Side-note: after all these years, I still misspell independent from time to time. Just thought I’d share, none of us are perfect.) On rare occasions, these fields intersect.

(For the record, I’ve still yet to see Million Dollar Arm, which seemed to showcase a little too much racism for comical intent in its previews for me to really want to sink my teeth in. I’m also still behind the curve – so to speak – on seeing Moneyball and 42. Sue me.)

As a member of the Internet Baseball Writers Association of America, it is occasionally my pleasure to survey the work of other members. Usually, that’s in written form. (See my review of John Rosengren’s latest book here) On this occasion, I was privileged to be invited to screen writer/director Nathan Kaufman’s independent feature film The Mendoza Line. By screened, I mean set up with a laptop in a certain chain coffee shop across the street from Wrigley Field. (Nathan, if you’re reading this, you might be happy to note that I tilted my laptop towards that most hallowed of stadiums, so that Wrigley got to see a piece of your movie. Unfortunately, the Cubs are in San Diego, so no thoughts from Anthony Rizzo will be found here. I tried, man. I tried.)

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Brew(er) Detective

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The Milwaukee Brewers had an April for the ages. Just ask Hank the Dog:

A 20-8 record AND an adorable stray-dog-turned-mascot? Everything’s coming up Milwaukee!

Not only do they have something that resembles a playoff-caliber starting rotation, not only have they knocked together the best record in baseball, but they’ve put put together the best opening month in franchise history. As the Recorder’s resident Rollie Fingers (and Brewers fan), I set out to ascertain how my favorite team achieved this improbable early-season success. [Read more…]

Only Cheating If You Get Caught: Thoughts From the Dugout

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The baseball season is well underway. The Milwaukee Brewers are in 1st Place (HOLY JEEBUS, YOU GUYS), Albert Pujols is hitting like Albert Pujols again, Billy Hamilton is slowly learning the art of hitting (slowly…), and Wrigley Field has turned 100 years old. While it’s still early, we’ve got nearly a month of great games under our belts, without a care in the world.

michael pineda pine tar

Ah.

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