Sports

the Fifth Line: the NHL’s Flying Circus

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That was an interesting week of hockey. Chicago picked up wins while avoiding the circus (literally), Martin Brodeur is now a Blue, the NHL suddenly is very interested in vaccines, and we were treated to Jack Edwards belly-aching about not the Bruins getting the Black Friday afternoon game.

We’ll start with the circus, because everybody loves the big top. Except the Blackhawks’ GM.

Circus is Back in Chicago

The Blackhawks closed out November with its annual circus trip, a two-week tour through the arenas of NHL teams in the Mountain and Pacific time zones. It’s called the “circus trip” because the gods-damned Ringling Bros. kick the ‘Hawks out of the United Center for two weeks. Seriously.

629-59Zr0.AuSt.55The trip was a bounty of wins (5-1-0), and the team returned home last night, stomping the St. Louis Blues to the tune of 4-1. The line of Brad Richards, Patrick Kane, and Kris Versteeg shredded St. Louis in the 3rd period, continuing their November ascendance. The Blackhawks’ second line has been damn near unstoppable of late. Chicago was lauded for taking a one-year chance on the aging Richards after the Rangers kicked him to the curb to save money. But Richards was also a risk — he’s in the twilight of his career, and was demoted to the Rangers’ fourth line in the playoffs last season. So far, though, he’s turned into the second-line center that Kane needed all of last year. [Read more…]

Addison Recorder Pick ‘Em Week Fifteen – Championship Edition

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Welcome to the Addison Recorder‘s football Pick ‘Em column. Each week Alex and a guest writer will predict the outcome of the most intriguing games on the slate. He will try to be as expert as possible, but we make no guarantees for his guests.

Actually, I’m gonna fly solo this week. I’ve loved having all my guests contribute, but I’ll close college football’s season being the lone voice shouting into the void.

Bowling Green Falcons MAC Champs

My folks paid thousands of dollars to subsidize this in my time at BGSU.

Northern Illinois vs Bowling Green

The rematch in the MAC Championship is a good place to start. Two years ago, North Illinois managed to run all the way to the Orange Bowl after winning this game. Last year, Bowling Green walked in and knocked off the defending champs and their Heisman-finalist QB Jordan Lynch to win their first conference title in 20 years. So despite the requisite coaching turnovers at both schools, it seems appropriate that both are back. That being said, this probably won’t be much of a game. The Huskies are 10-2 and have a punishing rushing attack. BG is 7-5 and has seen its defense regress from a year ago. So I say sorry to my Alma Mater. NIU by 17. [Read more…]

the Fifth Line: Thankfulness

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Happy Thanksgiving!

Yeah, this is a holiday synonymous with American football, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be thankful for hockey. After all, when U.S. citizens run rampant over hapless retail employees on Black Friday, you have an excuse to stay home (or hit the bar) — there are almost a dozen NHL games tomorrow, and sixteen NCAA games.

Hockey gives us plenty to be thankful for this season. For example, the Toledo Walleyes of the ECHL channeled Batman on the ice last week:

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“I am the Bat!”

What else? Well, I am thankful…

…that I am not Milan Lucic

The drawback to writing a weekly column is that sometimes, when you think you have a clever idea, someone with a daily blog gets to that idea first. After Boston power forward Milan Lucic got into a heated disagreement with Columbus Blue Jacket d-man Dalton Prout, hilarity ensued: [Read more…]

Addison Recorder Pick ‘Em Week Fourteen – Rivalry Edition

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Welcome to the Addison Recorder‘s football Pick ‘Em column. Each week Alex and a guest writer will predict the outcome of the most intriguing games on the slate. He will try to be as expert as possible, but we make no guarantees for his guests.

It’s rivalry week, so we’re bringing back the guy who has a standing slap bet with Bean about the outcome of The Game between Michigan and Ohio State. Bean deeply regrets this bet placed five years ago, by the way. (Travis holds no such regrets.)

 

Marcus Hall Ohio State Double Bird

Bean knows just how you feel, Marcus Hall.

Michigan at #6 Ohio State

Bean: What’s left to say? This game in Columbus is the end of the Brady Hoke era at Michigan. It has been four years of ridiculous and stupid football. I will not miss it. May next year bring a coach who can…actually coach. This game? On Saturday? Oh, fuck. It will be a slaughter. Last year’s edition looked that way, too, and became an instant-classic decided on a failed two-point conversion with seconds left. That ain’t happening in Columbus. Buckeyes by \infty.

Travis: Oh, the joys that come with slapping another man full in the face. The thrill of the moment. The tension of the wind-up. The sudden uncertainty that besets you as your wayward limb begins its acceleration and ascent – what if I miss? The rush of blood that comes as your hand reaches full extension, fingers splayed, the realization that yes, this slap will happen, and it will be good. The blow. The aftermath, falling away in triumph as your opponent collapses into a whimpering pile. The august joy of victory. Oh, this is a glorious thing. Buckeyes by a Bear Flipping a Table. ʕ•ᴥ•ʔノ ︵ ┻━┻ [Read more…]

the Fifth Line: the Absurd and the Unlived

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If last week’s post didn’t convince you that this is an absurd year in the NHL, the Nashville Predators’ Twitter account is here to help:

Yes, the Predators tied their franchise record for most goals scored… against the NHL’s version of the Yankees.

Since I already pulled out the big guns of absurdism last week with Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, I need something different. Still absurd, but maybe a little more joyful. More Marx-Brothers-y. More totally insane-y…

Good ‘Hawks / Bad ‘Hawks

tumblr_n1jgptWiYM1sykpjyo5_400It was so good to watch the ‘Hawks destroy the Dallas Stars on Sunday, for so many reasons. Watching an unlucky-this-season Chicago team pot six goals in a game felt cathartic. Doing it against Dallas was icing on the cake (we’ll come back to my hatred for Dallas later). Listening to Pat Foley rip into Ales Hemsky was the shot of whiskey after the cake. [Read more…]

Addison Recorder Pick ‘Em Week Thirteen – Probably Cursed

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Welcome to the Addison Recorder‘s football Pick ‘Em column. Each week Alex and a guest writer will predict the outcome of the most intriguing games on the slate. He will try to be as expert as possible, but we make no guarantees for his guests.

This week we are joined by Kevin Triskett, a new contributor to the Recorder whose passion is NCAA basketball. We’re running him through this ringer before he can go further, though.

Rich Rodriguez Arizona Wildcats

Bean is still fond of RichRod, despite what happened at Michigan. But this is also a hilariously awkward portrait.

#15 Arizona at #17 Utah

Bean: Apparently I am really into the race for the Pac-12 South this week. So we start in Salt Lake City! The Wildcats have been the more consistent team this year, but they’re also pretty lucky to be 8-2. Winning via hail marys and last-second field goals will do that. On the other side the Utes have played close games against every conference opponent except Oregon, who waxed them.  So this one will be close. My goodwill towards RichRod makes me give the nod to Zona. Wildcats by 1.

Kevin: The Pac-12 South caught my eye this week as well. Aside from the two games with top-25 teams, Oregon needs a strong Championship Game opponent for any hopes of entering the playoffs as the #1 seed. Arizona, to me, has been more lucky than good this season. After watching them struggle past a not-very-good Washington Huskies team last week, I can’t trust the Wildcats on the road against the Utes. Arizona ranks 119th nationally in passing yards allowed per game, and junior quarterback Travis Wilson is good enough to exploit that. (Ed. Note – A RichRod team ranking 119th in a defensive category? I remember that. – Bean) Utes by 7 [Read more…]

Breaking Down the Baseball Hall of Fame Ballot: A Golden Era

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Image of the Baseball Hall of Fame

This is Part One of a five part series covering this year’s Baseball Hall of Fame Election. This first part deals with the Golden Era Committee’s ballot, a collection of “candidates whose main contribution to the National Pastime came between 1947 and 1972 – the Golden Era”. (That’s the Hall of Fame’s wording, not mine.) Because I wasn’t around for this particular era of baseball, all I have to go off of are cold hard statistics, which is frightfully dull. Therefore, I turned to the scientific minds of the Recorder to create a time machine, a time machine which has brought back from the past a columnist/man/totally-not-a-gimmick who claims to have witnessed the primes of these respective careers. I give you, for your reading pleasure, Roger A. WASPman.

Roger A. WASPman is a suburban father of four from Springfield. He is an insurance broker with an office on Main Street. (Office hours are 8 am to 4 pm) He enjoys golf, listening to the radio, and watching “Hogan’s Heroes”, and has been a registered Republican since the Eisenhower years. His proudest claim to fame is working his way through college “the right way”, and states that Walter O’Malley is the most demonic man in America next to those damn Kennedys. Enjoy.

Well, hey there, sports! Fancy seeing you all here! This time machine thing sure is swell. Say, how’s Vietnam turn out?

[Read more…]

Wildcats Lead the Pack in 2014-2015

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This is a guest post by Kevin Triskett, college basketball enthusiast and longtime friend of Meryl’s. Today he gives readers a preview into the NCAA season, which starts tonight at 6:30 p.m. Central.

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Aaron Harrison’s miracle shot propels Kentucky past Wisconsin in last year’s Final Four. (image via)

Most college basketball season previews read like a paint-by-numbers. A short list of one-and-done freshman, accessing Kentucky’s chances of winning the National Championship (or going undefeated if you’re completely disconnected from reality), and an unsurprising list of teams in contention for the Final Four. Those ingredients, though, just wouldn’t do the 2014-2015 season justice. UConn’s surprise run last March, proved again that anything can and will happen in a three week long, single elimination tournament. We enter this college basketball season with less certainty than usual and no clearly dominant team. That adds tremendous intrigue to the early weeks of the season, where stories will take shape, stars will emerge, and front-running teams will test each other in the best regular season in sports. Here’s a quick guide to the teams and storylines you need to follow on the march to Madness. [Read more…]

the Fifth Line: Rosen-Kane & Guilden-Toews are Dead

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Watching the Chicago Blackhawks eke out a victory against the Tampa Bay Lightning on Tuesday was a harrowing experience. Once again, the puck seemed bound and determined to give probability the slip. Chicago was approaching 30 shots on goal with nary a point in sight!

I joked on Twitter that the Blackhawks were bending probability worse than the coin in Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead.

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Then I realized that Tom Stoppard’s play was actually the perfect lens through which to talk about probability and absurdity in the NHL. Assembled below are aspects of the play, characters, and relevant quotes all mashed them up with their NHL equivalent. Despite the title above, Kane and Toews aren’t who I’ve lined up to play R&G — that comes at the end, naturally. Instead, Chicago is best represented by that damn coin.

The Coin: Chicago Blackhawks

A weaker man might be moved to re-examine his faith, if in nothing else at least in the law of probability.

[Read more…]

Addison Recorder Pick ‘Em Week Twelve – Does Not Compute

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Welcome to the Addison Recorder‘s football Pick ‘Em column. Each week Alex and a guest writer will predict the outcome of the most intriguing games on the slate. He will try to be as expert as possible, but we make no guarantees for his guests.

This week we welcome back our very own Andrew Rostan. Last time he made picks it led to the worst Saturday in Big Ten history. Let’s hope it works out better this time!

Dan Mullen Mississippi State

Dan Mullen has taken MIss State to undreamed of heights. Bean thinks he would look good in Maize and Blue.

#1 Mississippi State at #4 Alabama

Bean: The marquee matchup of the weekend. Mississippi State has gone from unranked to top dog this season thanks to a string of impressive wins over the heavy-hitters of the SEC. Bama stumbled against Ole Miss, but has fended off all else. They also have history and probabilities on their side, since the Bulldogs have never experienced this sort of success before and have much better recruits. I think that makes the difference and the Cinderella run will end. Crimson Tide by 7.

Rostan: Let’s talk college, Bean. The senior Mr. Rostan sent me this really fascinating article yesterday by one of his favorite writers, Nat Hentoff, on how colleges discourage some forms of free public speaking and even disinvite some speakers. Hentoff didn’t even have to touch on the shame of Anita Sarkeesian at Utah to make his point. Higher education at its best, as Mark Shiffman also recently pointed out in his excellent essay “Majoring in Fear,” is supposed to challenge us, to make us reflect, to present us with points of view we don’t have to agree with but should at least try to understand, because only be overcoming fear and uncertainty in dealing with new and different ideas can we work together to build a great country.

And speaking of “Majoring in Fear,” I think every student in America is fearful of Mississippi State, and not even Saban can change that. Bulldogs by 7. [Read more…]