Jeremy Morin

the Fifth Line: Redux

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Everything we have ever done or will do, we are going to do over and over and over again. One might say that a puck is like a flat circle…

Okay, technically a puck has height, so it’s not actually flat, but the point is that this week has seen a lot of recurring events in the NHL. Break out the Lone Star beer and let’s talk about eternal recurrence… on the ice.

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It was all the same dream. A dream that you had inside a locked box. A dream about being the first star. And like a lot of dreams there’s Pierre McGuire at the end of it.

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the Fifth Line: the Long Game

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The NHL season is one-third over, and after the twists and turns, we still have a few surprises sticking around. One thing that isn’t a surprise, though? The Blackhawks are again looking like a Stanley Cup finalist.

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Hooray!

Everything is Awesome

Since we last looked at the ‘Hawks, they’ve put up another flawless week, winning three of three games. One against a solid Eastern team (Montreal), one against a dangerous Western team (Nashville), and one against their archenemy (rookie goaltenders, in the form of New Jersey’s Keith Kincaid). [Read more…]

the Fifth Line: the NHL’s Flying Circus

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That was an interesting week of hockey. Chicago picked up wins while avoiding the circus (literally), Martin Brodeur is now a Blue, the NHL suddenly is very interested in vaccines, and we were treated to Jack Edwards belly-aching about not the Bruins getting the Black Friday afternoon game.

We’ll start with the circus, because everybody loves the big top. Except the Blackhawks’ GM.

Circus is Back in Chicago

The Blackhawks closed out November with its annual circus trip, a two-week tour through the arenas of NHL teams in the Mountain and Pacific time zones. It’s called the “circus trip” because the gods-damned Ringling Bros. kick the ‘Hawks out of the United Center for two weeks. Seriously.

629-59Zr0.AuSt.55The trip was a bounty of wins (5-1-0), and the team returned home last night, stomping the St. Louis Blues to the tune of 4-1. The line of Brad Richards, Patrick Kane, and Kris Versteeg shredded St. Louis in the 3rd period, continuing their November ascendance. The Blackhawks’ second line has been damn near unstoppable of late. Chicago was lauded for taking a one-year chance on the aging Richards after the Rangers kicked him to the curb to save money. But Richards was also a risk — he’s in the twilight of his career, and was demoted to the Rangers’ fourth line in the playoffs last season. So far, though, he’s turned into the second-line center that Kane needed all of last year. [Read more…]

the Fifth Line: Thankfulness

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Happy Thanksgiving!

Yeah, this is a holiday synonymous with American football, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be thankful for hockey. After all, when U.S. citizens run rampant over hapless retail employees on Black Friday, you have an excuse to stay home (or hit the bar) — there are almost a dozen NHL games tomorrow, and sixteen NCAA games.

Hockey gives us plenty to be thankful for this season. For example, the Toledo Walleyes of the ECHL channeled Batman on the ice last week:

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“I am the Bat!”

What else? Well, I am thankful…

…that I am not Milan Lucic

The drawback to writing a weekly column is that sometimes, when you think you have a clever idea, someone with a daily blog gets to that idea first. After Boston power forward Milan Lucic got into a heated disagreement with Columbus Blue Jacket d-man Dalton Prout, hilarity ensued: [Read more…]

the Fifth Line: Gorilla Salad & the Flying Fenwicks

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Whisky has been poured. Fantasy team drafted. Grown men are skating around the ice, swatting at a disc of vulcanized rubber with sticks — and starting last night, that swatting counted in the standings.

The NHL season is upon us, and all is well.

Ryan Johansen is finally signed and suited up, every team is somehow under the salary cap, and Gorilla Salad is back in Chicago?

Godsdamnit.

Seriously?

Gods. Damn. It.

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the Fifth Line: Preseason Prospects, RFA Contracts, and NHL Expansion

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I type these words as the last day of summer fades into autumn-culled darkness. I have just watched Cuba Gooding, Jr., take his top off in the middle of a Blackhawks’ preseason game. And everyone’s favorite ‘Hawks parody account has returned to Twitter.

Guess that all means it’s time to start writing about the NHL again. I’m going to start this (pre)season with a few thoughts on the Midwest. Because I live here. [Read more…]

Teuvo! Teuvo Teuvo Teuvo!

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a.k.a., A Very Biased Look at the End of the 2014 NHL Regular Season from The Addison Recorder

Each NHL team has only 10 games or so left in their season, so the Recorder decided it was a good time to catch you up on anything you may have missed since the Olympics. Our resident kind-of-but-not-really-an-expert hockey expert look at what the likely playoff scenarios are, who’s peaking, who’s crashing, and… Teuvo.

Oh, yes, he will talk about Teuvo. Sweet Teuvo. Glorious Teuvo. Y’know what, why wait any longer?

Teuvo Teräväinen

The biggest story for final stretch of the Chicago Blackhawks’ season is easily Teuvo Teräväinen. The Finnish prospect is like the Hodor of the NHL, in that… Erm. Hm. Okay, he’s not like Hodor at all, aside from the fact that the only word he is capable of speaking is his name, over and over.

Um, well, uh… I may have made that up, too. Look, let’s just go with the Teuvo + Game of Thrones thing so I can throw in this picture of a My Little Pony-fied Teuvo riding a dragon into Westero… -side Chicago. We can get to analysis and other silly topics afterwards.

Yes, this is a thing. There exists a wonderful Tumblr known as My Little Blackhawk, created by Chicago artist / burlesquer / hockey nerd Ali Lawrence. You should consider it required viewing.

Now that the hyperbole is out of the way, let’s take a hard(-ish) look at the last few upcoming weeks of Teuvo’s the Blackhawks’ season:

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