In Defense of Our National Pastime
A Simple Rebuttal to a Bold Statement of Frightful Inaccuracy Regarding the State of Affairs of that Most Sacrosanct of Sporting Affairs, the Treasure Trove of Existential Eccentricities, the Apple Pie of our Eye, and how a Simple Misunderstanding and Misappropriation of Thought, Time, Care, and Concern will Inevitably Result in the Misguided Notion of Irreverence in the Face of Centuries of Trial and Error, and How Better to Appreciate the Simplistic Joy of the Nation’s Greatest Game
or
Why Bean is a Douche
Greetings,
Recently, it has come to my attention that one of my esteemed co-editors has put out a piece regarding the status of summer sporting events in the United States as being “boring as fuck.” (Bean, pg. 1) In fact, it would seem that baseball has earned my colleague’s ire in particular. He has invited me, in effect, to respond to his article with a rebuttal of my own form and nature, and given the particularly vicious manner of his approach, it feels all too necessary that I should jump to not only defend our national pastime, but also to point out the glaring inaccuracy of some of his statements.